Did You Know That Fitting In And Belonging Are NOT The Same Things?

by | Jun 9, 2022

“Stop looking for where you don’t belong” is one of my many favourite Brene Brown quotes.

Over the next four weeks, we are going to be unpacking that very theme of belonging. As you know, in my book The Powerhouse In You: How to lead with greater resilience, courage and confidence, I talk about your Mentally, Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually Fit rooms.

One of the things I know my clients, my colleagues, and my own family have been talking about is this disconnection during the pandemic and in the aftermath.

I don’t know about you, but I got the definition of belonging wrong. I thought it meant fitting in. Brene Brown, with her research, is very clearly stating that no, it is in fact on the opposite side of the bridge.

Fitting in means saying, doing, dressing, and even acquiring the things that are needed to fit in with others.

But the truth of it s that belonging really means belonging to self. That’s the most powerful. And you know that I am all about owning your own power.

My invitation to you, as you enter your Mentally Fit Room, take a look at where you deplete yourself from feeling a sense of belonging to you.

Where do you give your power away? Is it:

  • In a team meeting?
  • With your supervisor?
  • With a friend?

Where is it that you are not allowing yourself to belong to you?

Shakespeare said it right when he said “To thine own self be true“.

It is so important that you are true to yourself. To your values. To your core beliefs. That is really critical.

If you are putting all of your emphasis and your energy into fitting in with others by gossiping with them, by doing low-end energy stuff, by ignoring the truth of what’s in the room and that something needs to be resolved, then you are going to be abandoning yourself.

When you do that, you aren’t belonging to yourself. You may be fitting in with others but you won’t be belonging to you. Man, the price of that is high.


BE more kind to yourself.
BE more compassionate.
Be more forgiving.
Be more loving.

Resilient Leadership Speaker, Author, Coach & Retreat Facilitator

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