So here you are. You’ve now entered into your Physically Fit Room. How is it that you give your power away in your Physically Fit Room?
Kind of interesting right?
Maybe you give your power away by sitting for long hours because you’ve got to get this report done, you’ve got this deadline, or you’ve got to take care of something so you are constantly in the same position all of the time? Really, it is no different than being in a factory where people do the same thing over and over again and end up with serious problems.
How are you physically giving away your power to people? Are you in fact making that more important than taking care of your physical body?
It could be as simple as giving away your power when you have shared space. Are you one of the many who are working from home? Do you continue to accept the unacceptable behaviours that cause continuous disruption? Perhaps you need to set some healthy boundaries, whether it’s at home or whether it’s at work. It could be as simple as saying:
“Hey, when you see me on here, or you see that sign on the door, or you see that hanging up, just to give you a cue, this is not the time to interrupt me.”
Maybe it’s that colleague or friend that keeps popping in or sending you texts or giving you phone calls during the day. Or maybe it’s a family member.
It’s all about literally needing to say “I’m unavailable during these times.”
So again, what are you doing physically, in your Physically Fit Room, where you are giving away your power to others?
It may be a literal physical thing where you aren’t getting up and stretching or moving your body or getting your body that glass of water it needs. When you do this, you are making your work and your clients more important and sacrificing you.
Perhaps it’s around those boundaries, those necessary boundaries. Because that’s what makes for a healthy relationship. When you set a boundary with me, it lets me know where you end and where I start, or vice versa.
In my book The Powerhouse In You, I mention a great example of this with my friend Nancy.
When I was a Family and Children’s Counsellor, I remember just sliding into her office, like Kramer always slid into Seinfeld’s apartment, and saying “Oh, I really need to talk to you about this family that I am working with.” And her finger went up (fortunately, not her middle one) and she said: “Cate, you’ve got me at 12:00 but right now I’ve got to get this report done for a court date coming up so I really need to stay in the flow.” So of course, being the mature person I was, I went back to my office with my shoulders scrunched until Nancy had time to talk to me at noon.
In the meantime, what she taught me was a beautiful lesson. She made herself, and what was important to her, a priority AND she said that I was equally important however this was a time that worked best for her. That was a great, great message that she gave me. And it is one that is so important to learn as both a leader and a team member.
As a leader, the members of your team must know the boundaries. It is equally as important for them to know that even though you have to look after yourself and your priorities, your team is equally as important at a time that works best for both of you.
As a team member, it is important to remember the opposite: that even though your leader might not have time for you at that very moment, you are still very much important to them and that they may need to connect with you at a time when they are free from distractions and can give you the benefit of their full attention.
What I’d love for you to be able to do is to share with me, where you feel you are giving your power away physically to other people as a leader or as part of a team. It could be:
- Boundaries that you are not setting
- Boundaries that you are not enforcing
- Not moving your bodyenough
- Allowing yourself to take work into the bedroom
- Not allowing yourself to have downtime
I’d love it if you could let me know what you are going to try in the comments. It is so wonderful when we can all share together and grow together.
BE more kind to yourself.
BE more compassionate.
Be more forgiving.
Be more loving.
Remember, you are a Powerhouse.
Cate
Resilient Leadership Speaker, Author, Coach & Retreat Facilitator
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