Continuing with our theme of Paying Attention To Your Patterns, you are now going to enter your Emotionally Fit Room.
Notice how the woman’s smiling face doesn’t match with how she truly feels; angry. Ever done this? If you happened to miss last week’s Powerhouse Weekly where we looked at Paying Attention To Your Patterns in your Mentally Fit Room, I encourage you to head over to my website to read last week’s blog post When’s The Last Time You Paid Attention To Your Mental Patterns?
As a leader or team member, it is easy to catch yourself feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or overactive. I want you to pay attention to those feelings. Remember, feelings aren’t facts. I share this with you in my book The Powerhouse In You: How to lead with greater resilience, courage and confidence.
I want you to be paying attention to the patterns of those emotions. So when you go to the next team meeting, staff meeting, or partner meeting, what feelings are coming up for you? Are there certain people or situations that trigger you emotionally?
You see, fear is often a driver for most of us. So when you experience a lot of anger, fear is often the undercurrent. It is saying things like:
I’m going to lose something
You’re going to feel like I’m not good enough
I am inviting you to unpack and to pay attention to the emotional patterns that are there. And trust me, they are there! Let me give you an example:
We have a really beautiful Powerhouse convention every year. In the past, I would start to feel anxious at the thought of being with colleagues and wonder if I was good enough to be joining them. Before I gave myself some positive self-talk, I would unpack what feelings were coming up for me. What’s the pattern of my feelings?E.g imposter syndrome, not feeling worthy enough, not smart enough or you fill in the blank_________.
You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. I call it The 3 A’s: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. Once you are aware that you are having those feelings of self-doubt, and accept that you are having them, you can take action. It happens to all of us, no matter how successful or how confident we are. It’s going to happen. And it is a really healthy thing that shows up. It’s what you do with it that makes it healthy or unhealthy.
Your homework for the week is to pay attention to your emotional patterns. When do you feel joy? When does your heart smile? When do you feel the angriest or most resentful? When do you feel the most fear? The clues are there and once you establish your pattern, you can interrupt it.
Why not assign the same homework to your team? Invite them to pay attention to their emotional patterns then give them the opportunity to share what they’ve discovered at the start of your next team meeting.
Have yourself a beautiful day, and remember that YOU ARE A POWERHOUSE!